October 14, 2008
Are there ‘magic’ words you can use
to get your ex to return your phone calls?
Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words
that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex
feel almost compelled to return your call.
Cool huh?…
I am going to share this with you because
this is one of the biggest questions I get
from the over 35,000 subscribers just
like you that are trying to put their relationship
back together.
So I am going to answer…”How do I get
my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?”
BUT…
***********
WARNING!
***********
In the Magic Of Making Up, I lay
out a complete strategy.
The Magic of Making Up
If you use this technique alone, without
an ‘overall’ plan or strategy…you may
damage your relationship more than if
they never returned your call.
****************
What NOT to Say!
****************
Before we get into the actual words, let’s
go over what message almost NEVER
works.
and worse…
Puts you in an AWFUL ‘psychological’ position.
These usually fall into 2 categories.
The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like
“John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd
time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you.”
And the EMERGENCY-
“Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me
as soon as you get this.”
Now, I think you can see what is wrong with
both of those approaches?
So, I won’t go on and on…
************************************
How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest
To Your Advantage
***********************************
Two of the most powerful forces in
the human mind are
*Curiosity &
*Self Interest
And here’s the BIG SECRET!
When you combine the two, you
have a recipe that WILL work ‘magic’
So…
Let’s look at what you can say
that works nearly EVERY TIME.
In a friendly tone:
“Hi John. It’s Cindy. I wanted to let
you know I appreciate what you did for
me. Call me because I want to thank you
in person.”
Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity
and self interest?
John will NOT be able to resist! “What did I do?”
“What does she appreciate?” he will be thinking. And
he feels good because it is a positive message.
Now…
Before you call you need to do the
“Set Up”…which is figuring out what
he/she did that you appreciate.
It can be any small thing…but needs to
be plausible.
But more importantly…
************
2nd WARNING!
************
Please have an underlying strategy
like I lay out in the Magic Of Making
Up System BEFORE you call.
The Magic of Making Up
If you apply this technique with
no underlying strategy and they
call you back you can do more
DAMAGE than good if you do not
handle it correctly.
Okay?
What I am saying is…
What you do before, during and
after you get them to return your
call is MORE important than getting
them to return your call.
Make sense?
Have a PLAN!==> The Magic of making Up
September 25, 2008
Recently, my wife and I had a friend over for dinner. Julie-Ann was in an emotional slump as her boyfriend had broken up with her the week before. She was not sure why he had ended the relationship, but knew that it was not because of anyone else. We tried to console her with the normal advice that one gives in these circumstances, like “maybe it was just not meant to be” and “you will find someone else eventually” but it became clear that Julie-Ann was still head-over-heals in love with George (the ex boyfriend).
So, we got to thinking that there must be something we could do that would help her out.I got in touch with a friend of mine that I knew had written a guide on how to get back with your ex that was extremely popular and had a lot of success stories. My friend said that this seemed like the perfect case that the book was meant for, an unexplainable break up that was totally unexpected.
The guide has helped all sorts of people to repair their relationships, even ones that had ended badly, and he was confident that it would be able to help Julie-Ann and George to repair what-ever had broken the relationship. So, we gave Julie-Ann the website address for the Magic of Making Up guide.
She was sceptical at first, as most people are, about how a guide could help her through this, but after watching the videos on the site and seeing how much it had already helped others, she said “what the hell” and got the guide. Well, it has not been an easy path, but I am pleased to say the Julie-Ann and George are now seeing each other again and though they are not yet back to the way they were, they are getting there.
When my wife asked Julie-Ann what it was that worked in the guide and got them talking again, she said “there was just so much wonderful help in the guide and when I finished it I just knew what I had to do to get George back, on my terms. There was also a fantastic letter that was included with the report and the first thing I did was sent it to George and it changed everything. I didn’t even have to think about how to do it, everything was in the guide and it just worked”.
All I can say is that I feel really good that I was able to point Julie-Ann in the right direction to save her relationship. After all, doing good things for others is what our lives are all about and just because a couple has broken up, it doesn’t always mean they were not meant to be together.
Has your relationship suddenly stopped working? Are you and your loved one apart for reasons you just cannot seem to get past? You too deserve the chance to repair your relationship because I believe that almost any reationship CAN be saved. Don’t let things ruin your chance for love and happiness with the partner of your dreams, if things are looking bad, or even if they have already “gone up in smoke”, don’t just sit there feeling sorry for yourself. Get up and actively save your relationship! You just have to give it a shot, after all, you deserve to have a great relationship too!
So, if you need to get back together with someone and you know they are your soulmate, or if you have friends that are going through a break-up and they deserve to be together, get on over to the website for The Magic Of Making Up and watch the videos and learn how to save your relationship and your future.
The Magic Of Making Up, an easy and practical guide to repairing relationships.
August 22, 2008
It’s an age old problem that can turn your wonderful wedding day from being great, to being a disaster.
You start off with a plan to be in the wonderful wedding dress you saw in the store, and to look and feel slim and fabulous in it. But the reality is that most brides would love to be in a smaller size dress than they can be when chosing it.
So, what do you do to ensure that the perfect dress will fit you on your big day?
You follow The Wedding Day Diet!
Thats right, just for brides there is now a brilliant diet plan that will stop you from having to squeeze into your wedding dress that you hoped would fit you. With a simple, easy to follow plan, you will look as stunning and slim as you dreamed you would on the day of your wedding, and will be the envy of all your friends and family.
For the perfect diet for your perfect day, Click Here! and become the slim, fit and dropdead gorgeous bride you deserve to be!
January 17, 2008
Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.
Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.
The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.
An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.
People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.
Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.
Understanding the other parties’ feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them
Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.
Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.
The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.
Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.
Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.
Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.
This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.
Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.
Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.
Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.
When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.
Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.
Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’.
If your relationship is breaking down, I recommend The Magic Of Making Up, a guide to saving your relaionship.
January 9, 2008
First Steps to Planning Your Wedding
The day following your engagement, you run to the store to pick up every bridal magazine in sight. They are filled with photos of beautiful wedding gowns, rings, and articles on weddings. Some of the magazines give you a brief idea of what you need to do to plan your wedding, but you’re still not sure how to start off the process. The key is to start organizing and planning earlier rather than later.
First, you need to create your own system to keep all the details in one place. You may choose to use a binder with a tab for each category you will be using. Examples of categories include: Bakery, Ceremony, Catering, Florist, Music, Reception, Photography and Transportation. An accordion file is another choice, using the same category tables. This way you will be able to see each category at a glance.
Which system you choose is up to you, but use it consistently to keep track of all receipts, pictures, brochures, business cards etc. that is related to each category.
Once you have your system in place, then you can begin the research. There are plenty of wedding-planning books on the market and countless online websites. Visit the bookstore or the library to pick up a book to help with the planning process. If you have friends who were recently married, ask them if they have a book you can borrow to save a few bucks.
Next, find a wedding timetable layout. This will include a list of things ‘to-do’ for the entire time (months or years) before the big day. Some of the first things on the timeline may be: consulting with fiancé and parents to decide the budget and financial support available. Another may be deciding the number of guests you want to invite to your big day, deciding what type of wedding (formal or informal), or even interview some wedding coordinators. The timetable is a basic guideline. You can recreate it on your computer to fit your wedding and time line.
Once you have an idea of all the details involved in planning a wedding, and all the time you will have to invest, then you can begin asking friends and families for help. Delegate tasks to help you check off all the ‘to-dos’ on our list by the time you arrive at your special day.
Take all the hassle out of planning your wedding with the fantastic E-Book So You’re Getting Married by Jennifer Penner.
Covering all aspects of designing the perfect day for you, this book is a must have for all soon-to-be Brides.
Click here to check out So Your Getting Married
March 17, 2007
By Susie and Otto Collins
Here’s an interesting question…
Did you ever want to do something and know that it would be good for you but you couldn’t seem to find the energy to actually do it?
Most of us have had that dilemma at one time or another in our lives so we’re pretty sure that you know what we are talking about.
This applies to a lot of different areas of our lives such as home, work and especially our relationships.
We want more and yet somehow we have challenges finding that energy that it takes to create more.
Along those lines, here’s a great question from one of our newsletter subscribers that puts into words the experience of a lot of couples….
“We both work hard and have raised 3 kids to adulthood. We are in good shape but are tired at the end of the day/week. How do we find the energy to keep the fire lit so as not to let the flame go out?”
When the two of us were talking about this question, a story from the famous motivational teacher Zig Ziglar came to mind that we want to share to illustrate a point…
Imagine that someone comes to you and says that they are giving you an all-expense paid dream vacation to somewhere that you’ve always wanted to go. The catch is that you have to be packed and on the plane by 12 midnight tomorrow.
So if this were truly the dream trip of a lifetime for you, you were truly committed to going and you were convinced the offer was real– would you do what was necessary to make sure you were ready to go?
For example, would you find a way to get off work for several days in that short of notice?
If you have children, could you either get your children ready to go or find child care for them during the time that you were away?
What about that important meeting or presentation at work? Would you be able to re-schedule it or have someone else do it?
What about household chores? Could someone else mow your grass or just forget about it until you returned? The questions that you would face could go on and on.
If this is a trip of a lifetime (and someone else paid for it), we’re guessing that you would clear your schedule and re-arrange your life so that you could take advantage of this opportunity. It would be so important that you probably would do things that you normally wouldn’t do so that you could go.
This story is a great metaphor for your relationships. It’s what you focus on, make a priority and are committed to having in your life that actually happens.
Here’s a practical example from our lives of what we’re talking about…
One of our goals for our marriage has been to constantly deepen our connection with each other and to keep the “fire” lit. One of the ways that we like to do this is by reading books together and talking about the ideas that we find to be pertinent to our lives. For instance, these books can range from philosophical / psychological ways of looking at life to very practical tips on love-making.
What we find is that while we absolutely love to do this together, we also love to “veg” out in the evenings in front of the television and the internet. So at the first of this year, we agreed that we would read, talk and connect with each other one or two evenings a week after we stopped working for the day.
This commitment to each other is a conscious step for us to focus on what we want more of in our lives–which is to keep our passion, love and connection alive–rather than let “life” and other distractions dictate what our priorities are.
Here are a few ideas if you are wanting to find more time to rekindle and keep love alive in your relationship…
1. Decide what you truly want. If you want to keep the “fire lit,” then what does that mean to each of you? Talk about how you both like your connection and relationship to be without blame and without getting defensive. Be honest about what really excites you.
2. Focus on your positive outcome. Get on the same page, if possible, and hold that vision for how you’d like to be together. You will have the energy to move toward what you want if you just hold that as your vision for your life.
3. Make this a fun experience rather than something that “should” be done. Remember the all-expense paid vacation story? It obviously wouldn’t be worth your time and energy to get everything in order before you left if the vacation didn’t promise to be filled with fun, excitement, relaxation or whatever else you were after.
The same thing could be said for finding the time for closeness and connection. It has to feel really good in order to choose an activity that will bring you closer rather than one requires nothing of you. Even tiredness seems to dissolve when the rewards outweigh the allure of “vegging” out.
From our own lives and from observing the lives of many people, we’ve found that you can make one of two choices:
You can allow others or circumstances to dictate the course of your life or you can be a conscious creator of your life. The choice is yours.
Today and in every moment, we invite you to consciously choose things that will keep the fire lit inside you, whether for your relationship or for your life.
*******************************
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors of “Should You Stay or Should You Go?” and “No More Jealousy” are experts at helping people get more of the love they really want. http://www.Relationshipgold.com
March 11, 2007
Far too many people, both men and women alike, confuse lust for love. Physical attraction alone will not withstand the test of time in relationships. Physical attraction is an important factor but must never be the only factor you rely upon when choosing a mate. Many make the mistake of confusing lust and love and end up broken-hearted when the relationship doesn’t last.
Perhaps you’re wildly attracted to someone and thoughts of that person dominate your mind a good portion of the day and night. Perhaps you can’t wait until the next time the two of you will be together again. When you are together you can’t keep your hands off one another and when you’re apart, you fantasize about the next time you can see one another. True love and lust are easily confused because they are so much alike.
As a rule of thumb, if you share few other interests and have nothing in common other than an overwhelming physical desire for one another…it may be lust. If you have nothing of real value to say to one another and have difficulty relating to one another outside the sexual arena…it may be lust. If you don’t particularly enjoy one another’s company unless you’re having sex…it may be lust.
On the other hand, if your relationship is based on factors other than physical attraction and sex is not necessarily the number one priority…it may be love. Most long-term relationships are built on a strong friendship which turns into love over time. Having sex is not the driving force behind the relationship, but is a nice sideline to it.
There really is such a thing as “love at first sight”. It happens to many people and the relationship may last for the rest of their lives. A budding relationship based on lust feels much the same as one which is truly “love at first sight”. So how do you tell the difference?
Ask yourself the following questions. Read each question carefully and really think about it before answering. When answering, try to be as truthful as possible. If you can honestly and sincerely answer “yes” to all or nearly all of the questions, it may be safe to assume what you feel for the other person is actually love and not merely lust.
Keep in mind, these questions are quite general and are in no way a total and complete checklist.
1. Do you share similar ethics, values, and morals?
2. Do you find it easy to talk to one another and can you talk freely about almost anything?
3. Do you enjoy the time you spend with one another, regardless of the activity?
4. Do you enjoy even the most mundane activities when you are together, simply because you ARE together?
5. Do you have a genuine concern for the happiness, safety, and well-being of the other person?
6. Are you able to work out any differences you may have with this person to the satisfaction of both of you?
7. When disagreements arise, are you able to discuss them openly and frankly without losing your temper?
8. Do you find yourself longing for this person’s presence in your life in terms other than a sexual relationship? In other words, do you feel a need simply to be with that person and spend time with them even without having sex?
9. Can you laugh together and at one another, share jokes, and generally have fun together?
10. Does spending time with this person make you feel good about yourself?
11. Does this person give you a heightened sense of self-confidence and vitality?
12. Can you look at this person even when they are at their worst in their physical appearance (such as when they are sick) and not feel repulsed?
13. Do you share a strong mutual respect for one another?
14. Are you willing and able to share both good times and bad with this person and work through life’s ups and downs together as a team?
There is a very fine line between lust and love because the two of them are closely related. Being able to tell the difference can save you from wasting your time pursuing an unhealthy relationship which is doomed to eventual failure.
If your long-term goal is to seek out a partner with whom you can build a solid, lifetime commitment, knowing the difference between lust and love is an essential and vital skill you’ll want to master. Learning to accept a relationship for what it really is can mean the difference between a broken heart and a happy, fulfilling, lifetime of bliss with your partner.